Deep Into that Darkness Peering

The struggle with suicide has been a very real struggle for over a decade. Ravens tend to represent this struggle for me. The moments of dark thoughts and the moments of clarity where I overcome them. Making any sort of art where ravens appear actually soothes me quite a lot.

One way is that I can make something a bit more abstract with color – which I’ve done on a happier day. Most times, however, I’m finding myself looking deep into that darkness, to quote Edgar Allen Poe.

“Deep into that darkness peering,
Long I stood there, wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever
dared to dream before.”

Overcoming darkness isn’t easy. I turn to art. I turn to writing. I turn to movie-watching (criticizing directors and writers and actors).

For this piece, “Deep Into that Darkness Peering,” which has been awarded by the International Society of Animal Photographers, the American Society of Photographers, and Professional Photographers of America, I was struggling between the man that I’ve pretended to be all my life and the man that I was becoming, at that time. I found myself thinking of all the darkness that I was struggling against until I was able to overcome it – by finally allowing myself to be me.